As promised, we’re back to football — sort of.
Why only sort of?
Don’t act like you don’t know. I know you know. We all know.
There is only one American cultural institution with more pull than the NFL.
Her name is Taylor Swift, and she’s in the huddle now, after an inspired show of support at the Chiefs’ depressingly dominant win over the sad-sack Bears, fast becoming one of the sad-sackiest franchises in sports.
To think: these two forces combined. This wasn’t the world-ending weapon Oppenheimer was afraid of, but it’s the one I fear most.
You’ve seen all the numbers too, but in case you haven’t, Front Office Sports compiled the highlights:
Viewership for that (41-10) game spiked by 63% in the 18-49 female demo
Chiefs ticket sales 3x’d on StubHub
Travis Kelce’s jersey sales soared by 400%
He picked up ~half a million Instagram followers
Kelce’s podcast, New Heights, surged to #1 overall on Apple
And stuff like this happened, on the NFL’s (ugh) “X” account:
People who don’t give a flying fuck about football are suddenly asking me how good Travis Kelce is, to which I say: he’s never been the blocker Gronk was, but he’s been the receiver, he’s got two rings and a solid shot at a third, and he’ll Stanky Legg right into Canton whenever he hangs ‘em up.
But, as a figure no lesser than Bill Belichick points out, dating Swift would be the biggest catch of his career.
This is pandemonium. I was ready to write about Deion Sanders as football’s biggest phenomenon before Taylor came in and stopped the presses. Prime must feel like Usher right about now.
Star Turn
This has been so eagerly covered and consumed by seemingly every person in America that there aren’t a ton of hugely novel points for me to make here, so I’ll reach for one you might not have heard yet.
Remember last week, when we were saying how the NBA’s foremost strength might be its surpassing claim to stardom?
They still have the most stars, but if Kelce and Swift continue dating — big If, following the only slightly smaller If of whether they’re even dating now — the NBA will no longer have the brightest.
With apologies to Mahomes and Rodgers, not since the peak of Tom Brady’s powers has the NFL had a legitimate claim to the Most Famous Athlete crown.
Even then, Gisele Bundchen was no Taylor Swift, so it doesn’t quite matter that Kelce is no Brady at this point. This is new, and from a media standpoint, significant.
Sidenote: is this the pinnacle of the tight end as a football position? What a glow-up. This was just not a glamorous position at all in the days of Mike Ditka. That’s been changing, resulting in Kelce basically playing wideout, but this about seals the transformation. By golly, they’ve done it.
I can’t comment on all the theories as to why this is happening — whether it’s the NFL trying to raise female viewership, or T-Swift doing her girl Sophie Turner a solid and vacuuming up all the tabloid attention — but I can comment on how rare it is to see NFL players, and really the league as a whole, looking as starstruck as they did Sunday.
A whole procession of dudes turning back, all saying some version of the same thing: Oh shit! That’s her!
If I had to guess, this won’t last very long. But then again, I was wrong about it starting at all. Guess we’re along for the ride now.
And if today’s title didn’t make it clear, out of the available options, I’ll go with Swelce. Thanks for asking.
Also, This:
I kinda liked the jumble of bullets at the end of this week’s emergency post, so we’re gonna keep those up when the moment takes us there.
I sat down with Eamonn Brennan this week to talk college hoops with one of the best writers covering it. Look out for All Fields’ first podcast drop sometime next week, and go check out Buzzer here on Substack:
It’s hard to do stuff that’s never been done in baseball, but Ronald Acuna, Jr. inaugurating the 40/70 club just goes to underline how special he and the Braves have been this year. If they win out, they can tie the franchise wins record of 106, but they’ve got higher ambitions as the deserving favorites to win it all. ‘Ship or bust for this squad.
The Dolphins get Jaylen Waddle back this week after hanging 70 on the lowly Broncos, whose 2013 squad holds the all-time scoring record that Miami’s on pace to destroy. Not sure I see the Dolphins O-line, or Tua, holding up long enough to get there, but they’re on the warpath after challenging Sean Payton to re-retire and Russell Wilson to follow him. Look out for the Legion of Zoom.
The XFL and USFL are merging, which could maybe prove interesting someday if ever the NFL decides it wants something akin to what the other leagues have in terms of minor league affiliates. That’s a long, long game to keep an eye on, but it’s the sort of position those leagues aspire to reach. They don’t seek to challenge; they want to partner.
This was last week, but Nadal came out and called Djokovic the GOAT, which I happen to agree with, only a little begrudgingly. I wish it was Federer, but it just isn’t. Not anymore. Sorry Switzerland.
The last remaining Cardinals stalwart of my youth is calling it a career, as Adam Wainwright will go no further than Win #200. It’s been a long and trying year for the guy, and there’s no telling when we might see somebody else hit that number, so happy trails to Uncle Charlie, and thanks for all the memories. This one’s my favorite, about 16 years and 11 months ago to the day. I’m sure we’ll be seeing him in the broadcast booth awfully soon.
Swelce - I like it, rolls off the tongue easy to pronounce
Tralis Kift - Elite