Introducing: All Fields
Sports et al., any given Friday
Introductory Press Conference
Couldn’t be more excited to be here. Now that I’m writing a blog, a day we all feared might come, I’ll be taking questions from the media. Go right ahead. You in front.
Q. What are you going to write about?
A. Sports!
Q. Care to elaborate on that?
A. Sure. Why sports matter, and what matters in sports.
Q. That’s it?
A. Alright — as long as we’ve been sending people newspapers, we’ve been partitioning everything out into its own section: sports, culture, politics, business, what have you. For the same amount of time, all those things and more have intertwined in all kinds of fascinating ways that we don’t talk about enough. You can find the box scores where you already look for them. Here, we’ll talk about the rest. Next.
Q. Now you’re doing too much. Could you try and keep your answers somewhere between two and three?
A. Yep, tell you what — I’ll never write anything that takes longer than 10 minutes to read. How’s that sound?
Q. How often will you post?
A. Once a week, every Friday. That seem often enough?
Q. Are you in the habit of answering questions with questions?
A. What constitutes a habit?
Q. You’re not one of those guys who just Stans for the teams he likes, are you?
A. No — I’d have to like the teams I like for that to be the case.
Q. You’re kinda leaning on the em dash. You ever notice that?
A. We still revoking press passes? Is that a thing?
Q. Seriously though, you’re not from Philly or Boston, are you?
A. Thankfully, no.
Q. You a Westbrook guy?
A. Thankfully, no. But I am interested in what separates the guys everyone wants to argue about from those who don’t inspire the same kind of heat. Maybe we should talk about that, actually. You guys think anyone would read that?
Q. Can’t you just let people argue? Isn’t that what makes this fun?
A. We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t going to get into it. But why Bayless when you could Baymore? Be… more…? Is that anything?
Q. Ugh. And why do you keep referring to yourself as “we?”
A. Sounds more impressive. Right?
Q. What’s up with the title? “All Fields”?
A. It’s meant to convey the range of what we’ll cover here. Anybody can pull the ball. We take pride in going oppo.
Q. Baseball idioms. Accessible. What could be more self-indulgent than starting a blog?
A. While a few things do come to mind, point taken. Thanks for keeping me humble.
Q. When’s your first post?
A. Friday, my guy — were you listening?
Q. Are you sure you should be doing this?
A. That felt like 10 minutes. Thanks everyone, I’ll see you Friday.
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Would you rather have a 5 year MLB career with the Cardinals where you're guaranteed a World Series ring but you're forever remembered as the sweatiest player in league history OR have a 15 year MLB career with the A's where you never have a winning season but you become an icon for having a mustache even better than Dennis Eckersley's?
Would you rather have to wear baseball pants as your only option for pants in any occasion (work, wedding, swimming, etc.), OR eat at least one footlong Subway Reuben every day for the rest of your life?